I once had a pet hedgehog but he was very shy and we didn’t build up much of a relationship.

Hedgehog

J.Gresham Flickr

He used to hide his gentle face and soft, furry stomach by rolling up into a tight ball so that I couldn’t even see the dividing line between his head and his tail.

It was almost impossible to get him to reveal his soft and vulnerable underbelly.

Once in a while I would catch him in an unguarded moment peering at me with his little black eyes and I wondered what he was thinking. But as soon as I tried to approach him he would curl up into a little prickly ball. I could even roll him along the carpet – but nothing would make him come out of hiding.

Have you ever tried to relate to a hedgehog? It’s an uphill battle. After a while you just give up trying.

And that’s exactly what happens in a relationship. If you roll up in a tight little ball till only the spikes are visible, can you blame your partner for giving up? How do you cope with a relationship that is all spikes and subterfuge?

It’s such a pity when we show our spikes and hide our vulnerabilities. Because the softer side of our natures is really what people relate to.

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