Ask someone if she is sensitive and in two seconds she will regale you with proof of her various sensitivities. It never fails.
Confront a muscular worker and ask him if he thinks he is sensitive. Watch him reflect for a moment only to reveal that he was always misunderstood in his youth.
He will probably mention that few people realize just how sensitive he really is beneath that tough exterior.
Don’t get me wrong!
Sensitivity can be a great personal asset – particularly when it comes to interpersonal relationships.
Sensitive people are great. They are receptive to other people’s feelings. They understand and appreciate where other people are coming from and they are careful not to tread on toes.
A sensitive person can easily put herself into another person’s shoes and relate with great empathy.
Sensitive people are good listeners. The list goes on.
But here’s the problem:
We often confuse sensitivity with over-sensitivity.
Over-sensitivity is very different from sensitivity as such – it’s another kettle of fish altogether. In fact, that is why I asked you earlier if you were too sensitive for your own good.
The problem with over-sensitivity is that it provides a fertile medium for misunderstanding. Over-sensitive people imagine that others are out to hurt them.
They feel that they are the targets for criticism and take exception to disapproval. They are easily offended and take criticism personally. It is often said of such people that you have to treat them with kid gloves.
Well, the truth of it is that over-sensitive people become their own worst enemies. They have a particularly hard time of it in their relationships.
They are always imagining slights which they tend to fan into conflicts because they are so easily insulted.
What you can do about it
The best way to deal with ultra-sensitive people is to realize that it’s an uphill battle for them to change. It’s as if they were born with an ultra-sensitive gene.
You will simply have to accept that a lot of the compromising will have to come from your side.
It may help to discus it very tactfully but the bottom line is that it will need a determined effort if you want to see some sort of change.
And if you are ultra-sensitive yourself it’s important to recognize it for what it is.
So again I ask – are you too sensitive for your own good?
Think about it.