Isn’t it strange how the word, “kindness”  has become so old-fashioned.  It has almost passed out of common usage and is fast disappearing into the realms of verbal antiquity.

It is a word that is seldom used today and seems to stem from a bygone era where genteel manners and etiquette were the highest form of civilization.

No-one today refers to another as “a kind gentleman.”  The term in itself is somewhat embarrassing and downright archaic.

Just try being “kind and gentle” and you will soon find yourself kicked out of the fast lane.

Walk around with a philosophy like that showing and the sharks will make a quick meal of you in record time.

And yet the concept of kindness like Aladdin’s lamp is too full of remarkable mysteries to be discarded carelessly onto the floor of the cave.

Kindness is like a smile of understanding that doesn’t glitter on the surface of the eyes but goes right inside to the workings within.

It isn’t a dutiful gesture that accompanies a philanthropic cheque. It isn’t in boardrooms and you won’t find it in crowded places.

Kindness is like a fleeting glance glimpsed in the crinkling of eyes.  It’s a quick meeting of souls in the recognition of their common destiny.  And it sets them vibrating in sympathy like fine-tuned musical instruments.

Maybe that is why it’s so hard to find these days.

Is it essential for us to speak in order to communicate? What is really at the heart of communication?

Here is a rather amazing story of a special relationship that I found at Katie Freiling a well-known internet marketer.  As she rightly says; “When you have empathy and understanding for those in your life, your relationships will blossom.”

The story tells us a great deal about communicating with empathy.  Let me know what you think about it in the comments below.

A Special Relationship

Up in the Himalayan Mountains, there once lived a Japanese sage…

He had dedicated his life to enlightenment, so he lived alone up on a mountain top and meditated all day long.

Occasionally, he would come down from the mountain into the valley to gather food and visit his relatives. One day, while down in the valley, his sister came up to him completely distraught. She was full of anger, anxiety, and sadness over her teenage boy.

Her adolescent son was a big trouble maker. He was getting into trouble at school, lashing out at his family, and engaging in self-destructive behavior. No one in the family could get through to him and he was causing the whole family to suffer.

The sage was asked by his sister to come and talk to him. Since he was known for his ‘enlightened consciousness’ and compassion, she figured he was the only one who could help.

So the sage agreed and came to live with his sister for a while. He ate  with them, helped with the household chores, and did just about everything BUT talk to the young boy.  He ended up staying there for two weeks just observing the dynamics of the household.

Two Weeks Later

After two whole weeks, his sister became frustrated.“Why haven’t you had a talk with my son yet?” she asked.

The sage simply answered that there was nothing to say.

The boy was also confused. He knew that his uncle was asked to visit in order to talk with him about his behavior.

But the sage felt it was time to go, so he went back into his room to get his shoes. As he was sitting on the edge of his bed tying his shoelaces, the boy came and sat down in front of him.

The boy stared at his uncle for a few moments waiting for some kind of response. The sage looked up from tying his shoes with tears streaming down his face.  He just looked into the boys eyes with love, not saying a word. The emotion was so intense, that the boy started crying, too.

The sage cried for the pain he felt the young boy was going through. He physically felt the feelings of being lost, disconnected and unloved.  The boy wasn’t misbehaving just to be malicious. He was acting out because he was in pain.

Staring speechlessly into the teary eyes of his uncle, the boy felt understood for the first time in his life.  He knew the sage wasn’t crying because of his bad behavior… He was empathizing with his own suffering. And for a moment, they both felt the same pain.

From that point on, the boy changed.  The unconditional love and compassion that he felt from the sage changed his life. The sage not only helped the boy more than anyone thought possible, but he also helped the rest of the family.

He taught them what true empathy really was…

Photo: tandemracer, Flickr

Many couples just don’t realize how important it is to bring  fun and laughter into a relationship.

All the joy of a happy relationship is so easily lost amidst the seriousness of chores, responsibilities and the demands of making a living.

People forget to have fun in the routine of everyday life.

That light-hearted feeling of happiness should not be reserved purely for holidays and special occasions. Laughter and fun can lift any moment and make it special.

If you make a conscious effort to put fun and laughter into your relationship, then not only will you enjoy many more special moments – but you will also be revitalizing and strengthening your relationship.

There are so many ways to add an element of fun and light heartedness to your lives.  It only needs a few minutes of thought and a little imagination and you will soon begin to associate much more fun with being together.

As an experiment, sit down right now and do some brain storming.  Think of several things that you can do to give you both some fun-filled moments.

Go for a run together, go bicycle riding, cook a meal together or start dancing lessons.  It’s so easy to do and it involves so little effort that we forget to take advantage of these simple things.

It may seem like an effort at first and you may have to set aside special times for this – but give it a try – the pay off could be huge.

relationships of all kinds: relationships with our family and loved ones, romantic relationships, relationships with our friends, relationships with our business associates and more.

The ability to build and maintain healthy relationships is one of the most important though often under-rated skills that we could ever acquire.

What a pity that schools and colleges don’t teach this vital skill to children – they have to pick it up by themselves. No wonder our relationships flounder through lack of knowledge and the right information.

Building and maintaining healthy relationships is a valuable skill that we should all be taught from an early age.  It should even be included as part of every school curriculum.

What could be more important than learning how to maintain good relationships? And as important as it is on an inter-personal level – it’s even more important on a political and international level.

Animal Relationships

We could even spare a little time learning how to relate better to all kinds of animals. Our planet would be a better place for it.

So yes, this is about relationships – isn’t it really what life is all about?

Puppy Love