Does he have commitment phobia?

If your boyfriend has commitment phobia it’s vital for you to learn about it as soon as possible.

Fortunately, with the following tips, you won’t have to stay in the dark for too long. You will see that there are several ways for you to find out if he has commitment phobia or not.

The first thing you should do is watch out and listen for helpful hints whenever you have a conversation about your relationship.

Though it often goes unnoticed, a lot of information can slip out during a conversation. Arguments in particular are loaded with clues and signs.

There are many other sources of information too that will give you some helpful clues, particularly if you

Ask the right questions!

With that in mind, here are some leading questions to ask yourself.

Not only will they alert you to several warning signs of commitment phobia; they will also help you to think objectively about the direction your relationship is taking.

Does he have commitment Phobia?

10 Questions to ask yourself

• Does your boyfriend often say that he doesn’t want to get married or that he cannot see himself settling down with one woman?  If so, this is not a mere hint.  It’s a red flag.

•  Does he often tell you that he has to do a lot of traveling for his work? Or does he often say that his work requires him to work late at the office? Another warning sign!

• Does he seem to make a habit of choosing to play or watch an unusual amount of sport that keeps you apart?

• Does he often choose to go out with “the boys” to places where you are not included?

• Does he have a long list of short relationships?  Because if he has, yours may be the very next one to join his list.

• If he keeps mentioning that he needs his space, take it seriously as another sign that he is not thinking about his commitment to you.

• Also take note if he starts to complain that you are too demanding without being sufficiently specific. But make sure that he doesn’t have a genuine case against you before you are tempted to accuse him of being unfair.

• And here’s a tricky one: If he says that he needs to make changes in his life so that he can get away from it all, can you be quite sure that he isn’t trying to get away from you?

• Does he make excuses about introducing you to his parents or does he keep putting it off?

• And finally, if he keeps hinting that he isn’t sure if things are going to work out between you – take it as a sign that commitment to you is not on his immediate horizon!

If you have answered these questions as honestly and as objectively as possible, you will have a good idea about your boyfriend’s commitment to you.

And here’s The Answer to commitment Phobia

How to get that Ring

Amazing! A short while after writing this post I  discovered this brand new guide to getting your boyfriend to commit.

So I am adding it here for your convenience.

Take a look and see if it could be the answer to your problems.    I think it may just do the trick for you.

It’s worth trying in my opinion because clearly there is a lot to  gain from it.

The answer to commitment phobia

Aff link

Are you the mea culpa type?  Do you apologize too quickly?

If you are in the habit of saying sorry at the  drop of a hat then you may just have the dreaded Mea Culpa Syndrome.

And if you do fall into that category, you will surely be familiar with that self-recriminating  “I Blame Myself” attitude.

But just to confirm take a look at the following signs that should help you to work out if you have -

The Mea Culpa personality:

• You are too quick to take the blame.
• You are too quick to apologize and
• Rather than fan the flames of any argument you take full responsibility for the problem.
• You focus on your own shortcomings rather than on the other person’s faults

People with this type of attitude are much too quick to concentrate on their own failings.  Not only that; they tend to be guilt-ridden and are likely to accept responsibility for everything that goes wrong in their relationships.

Is that you?  Do you recognize yourself?

Try to kick the Mea Culpa habit

If you make a habit of taking the blame it may end the argument sooner but it will only defer the problem in the short term.  In the long run it will create more problems in your relationship than you bargained for.

Think about it carefully and you will see that this type of approach will never work to your advantage. It will only serve to weaken the foundations of your relationship.

Any worthwhile or successful relationship should be an equal partnership with a lot of give and take from both sides. It should never be a power play where one side calls the tune and the other takes orders.

If you make a habit of putting yourself down, your partner will expect you to take the blame every time and apologise when you have a disagreement.

So what should you do?

The Mea Culpa Trap

Firstly you need to recognize that you have fallen into the mea culpa trap.  And having accepted that, you need to break the cycle by taking a firmer stand.

• Prepare yourself mentally beforehand by determining what your strengths are.  Then use them to bolster your confidence.

• Accept that you are allowed to disagree and that it’s OK to do so.  You don’t need permission to put up a reasonable argument.

• Do not give up your rights or your autonomy to someone else. And don’t apologize if you have done nothing wrong. Remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” So make sure that you do not give anyone that consent.

• You are entitled to your own opinion without having to feel guilty about it. So offer your opinion as an alternative point of view. But do not allow yourself to shoulder any blame for disagreeing.

Once you learn how to stand up for yourself you will have renewed respect for yourself.  And it follows that others will have much more respect for you too.

Visit a related post which may be of interest if you find it difficult to apologize.

So the only thing left for them is to agree to live together at the first invitation.  In fact everyone expects them to do so.

Gone are the days when women were entitled to expect an engagement ring at the end of a courtship.

Today they take it as a compliment when they are invited to move in with their boy friends.

“Do you really mean you would like me to move in with you?”  It’s an invitation that is often accepted with tears of joy!

And with that, a woman gives up her last trump card as she enters into a veritable apprenticeship.

And there’s usually a tacit agreement that there’s no guarantee of that engagement ring at the end of the apprenticeship either.

From there on it’s uphill all the way.

With no goal in sight how can she dream up a romantic future while cleaning up after last night’s party and taking out the rubbish?

Is it any surprise when romance flies out of the window?

It’s a strange quirk of human nature that anything that comes too easily goes unappreciated.

Make it too easy for a guy and he will soon lose interest.  And you can’t even blame him.  It’s human nature and it’s inevitable.

In the olden days of chivalry and romance a man had to work pretty hard to win the hand of a lady. Men were put through unenviable labours to prove their worth.

History is full of tales about suitors having to perform impossibly difficult tasks before even being permitted to court their future brides.

It stands to reason that a suitor would have to be totally committed to the relationship if he was prepared to “kill dragons” in order to win the heart and hand of his lady.

In the Bible, Jacob had to labour on his uncle’s farm for seven long years before he was allowed to marry his beloved Rachel. Theirs was a romance to beat all romances – because Jacob was committed.

Would your boyfriend go to such lengths for you?

Share your feelings for a happy relationship

Real communication in a relationship is about sharing.  It’s about sharing your feelings and thoughts with someone you are close to.

It’s about discussing what you think and feel about the things that are important to you.

If you can communicate your feelings and your thoughts and ideas with someone – you are feeding your relationship. You are nurturing it.

It’s the best way for you to sustain and develop your relationship in a meaningful way.

Because effective communication is the lifeline of your relationship.

On the other hand if you keep all your thoughts and emotions to yourself your relationship will soon suffer.

It won’t be able to survive if you cut off its lifeline.  And where communication breaks down there’s trouble.

A breakdown in communication

A breakdown in communication will have an immediate impact on any relationship. Just think about what happens when communication between two countries starts to break down – history shows us that it has often led to war.

Now I’m not saying that a breakdown of communication in your relationship will lead to war!

But if there is no sharing of ideas and thoughts, your relationship will start to dry up like a plant that withers when it receives no food and water.

A weakened relationship allows the wellspring of trust to dry out.  And as you know, a relationship without trust cannot survive.

How to save your relationship

The best way to save your relationship is through meaningful communication! You have to share your feelings.

Unfortunately, for some people communicating on a deeper level is very difficult. They can chatter endlessly about food they enjoy or movies they have seen or the latest headlines in the news.

But they clam up when it comes to sharing their real feelings about things that are important to them.  They become shy about sharing the things that affect them emotionally.

Wherever you find it difficult to share your feelings – that is precisely the area that you should be looking at.  It’s a signal to you that this is the area that needs the most attention.

In a relationship you need to be able to discuss the things that are important to you. If you can only discuss trivial things it does not say much about your relationship.

To have a meaningful relationship you need to be able to discuss matters that are meaningful to both of you. You need to be able to communicate by sharing your thoughts and feelings.

I don’t mean listening as in “obey.”  I mean listening as in the best part of “hear.”

When last did  you really listen with concentration to what your mate was talking about? In fact, when last did anyone really listen to you?

See what I mean?

The world is such a frenetic place today with all its distractions that in pure self- defense we have switched off our ability to hear.

We all have so much noise going on in our lives that we no longer have the inclination to really listen.

It’s so easy to  dismiss  someone else’s concerns and we do this best by not  listening properly.

But when we do listen we really get to understand where the person inside is coming from.

There is a real art to listening properly.  Unfortunately not many people have cracked the secret of listening. Because the real art of listening is not only about listening to words.

Real listening has to do with understanding body language too.  Real listening means looking into  someone’s eyes with real understanding and truly getting the underlying message.

It means caring enough to become involved.

Glamour and good looks are important assets for any girl because they attract attention. But the girl who listens has an even bigger advantage.  Not only will she get her man – she will also keep him.

The sad thing about being afraid to give compliments is that when the moment has passed it doesn’t come again.

The inability to express appreciation sets up an emotional barrier. And the more we block our feelings the more it becomes an intractable habit.

The saying goes that we never regret the things we said as much as the things we left unsaid.

That is why if you think you may be suffering from an emotional block try this simple experiment.

At the very first opportunity, comment about something pleasant you have noticed about your partner.  It doesn’t have to be an over the top expression of undying love. Just mention something that you have noticed and like. It can be the simplest thing.

Then take note of the expression on your partner’s face. If you see that it has gone down well you can try it again on another occasion.

About being Critical

It’s so easy to be critical. But being critical creates a negative reaction and can lead to resentment particularly if it is uncalled for. Criticism creates a negative mood.

When you are critical you are looking for the shortcomings in someone. But when you are being complimentary it means that you have looked for and found the good.

The difference can always be seen in your partner’s expression. A compliment can work wonders and the effect on your partner’s mood and on your own will be magical.