While everyone around you seems to be buying presents, preparing meals and going to dinners and parties, you feel like a lonely wallflower sitting on the sidelines watching all the dancers whirl by.

When you are feeling alone it rubs salt into the wound to see so much activity and so much shopping and scurrying around.

Your only wish is that it will all go away as quickly as possible.

What are you to feel when the whole world around you seems to be going berserk? Your loneliness is accentuated by all this contrast with your own situation.

So you pretend to be bright and happy. But in reality you are feeling like the only person on the planet who feels miserable and so desperately alone.

But take heart. There are many thousands of people right now who feel exactly as you do.  The only difference is that you haven’t met them and you don’t know who they are. If somehow you could all get together you could have one huge bash that would put all the other party-goers to shame!

But jokes aside, holiday seasons are notorious for making people feel miserable. There are many people out there right now who can’t wait for the holidays to be over so that they can get back to work quickly and regain some semblance of normality.

The important thing to realize is that you are not alone. Many, many people are going through this very same feeling of depression this minute.

The secret lies in learning how to cope with feeling lonely. And this means that you have to make a plan of action.

It’s quite easy.  Simply accept that this is the time to pamper yourself.  Buy that special something you have always wanted.  Treat yourself to something you know you will enjoy.

Buy that new book you have always wanted or make plans to learn that new hobby you’ve always fancied; or explore an interest that you have always wanted to follow such as learn handwriting analysis. Immerse yourself in it and you will be amazed to see how quickly the time passes and how soon you will start to feel better about yourself.

Time to yourself can be a blessing in this overcrowded world. Use the opportunity to get in touch with your creativity. Express your feelings by painting, writing or learning a musical instrument.

And there’s the internet too with chat groups where you can join groups of people with similar interests. Loneliness is a common problem and there are many people out there hoping to connect with others who have similar interests.

Now that you have some time on your hands you can get involved with a cause that you believe in. There is a double advantage here.  You’ll feel good knowing you are doing something worthwhile and furthermore, you may meet some like-minded people who could add a lot of meaning to your life.

For example if you are concerned about the ecology you could become part of a group and go on outdoor excursions. There are all kinds of possibilities for new experiences.

The bottom line is – don’t simply hide under your bed till the holidays are over. With a little change of focus you can turn this time into a valuable and yes, an enjoyable experience. Just set your mind to it.

All these reasons large and small are mostly the result of personality differences.

But things get even more complicated when you have an argument.

Because when you have an argument, there is always a stated reason and a hidden reason.  A quarrel is rarely based on the stated reason alone. That’s just a cover for a deeper problem.

The real problem is usually based on a hidden reason.  So this is where you should be looking if you want real and relevant answers.

The Hidden Reason

Of course, the big challenge is – how do you find the hidden reason?

This is where it gets really interesting.  But take a deep breath first!

Ready?

Your handwriting holds the clues!

And guess what?

When you compare both of your handwritings you get to look into the inner workings of your relationships – behind the scenes.

This is How it Works.

In the same way that we express our feelings by making facial and body movements, handwriting is an expression of our moods and emotions. The difference is that the movement is captured on paper.  It’s like a photograph of your emotions.

Think of an electrocardiogram that captures the pattern of your heartbeat on paper.  Well, your handwriting is a living trail of evidence that you leave on paper as you write. Of course it’s all unconscious.

But technicalities aside, the important thing for you is that your handwriting and the handwriting of your partner holds clues that will help you to understand your personalities.

As you compare the handwritings you start to get a picture of the health of your relationship. The problems pop out, you can see what caused them and of course it’s so much easier to come up with solutions to sort them out.

Obviously you can’t do this alone – you’ll need the help of an expert handwriting analyst or graphologist.

Well you can relax! Help is at hand in the form of a detailed guide that you can access immediately.

Relationship Secrets shows you exactly how to get an expert understanding of your relationship by comparing your handwritings.

You don’t have to be a handwriting analyst yourself. The book explains everything in an easy and entertaining way.

To find out more go to Relationship Secrets .

Do you sometimes feel that your life would be better if only you could learn to apologize at those emotional crossroads and really mean it?

Well you’re not alone. Most people have trouble apologizing and many find it one of the most difficult things to do.

The truth is that learning how to apologize in a relationship is one of the most important things to get right. Unfortunately very few people know how to do it correctly.

Why relationships fail

The inability to apologize in an argument is what causes many a conflict to go on for an unnecessarily long time.  It makes the problem linger and it stops the healing process.  It is also often the reason why relationships fail.

Just think how dreadful it makes you feel when you know that you have been at fault but are unable to admit it.  You realize that your relationship is going to suffer and that there could be lasting repercussions but your pride gets in the way and you simply cannot bring yourself to admit that you were wrong.

You understand intellectually that this is an important thing to get right. But emotionally you can’t bring yourself to say those difficult words “I’m sorry!”

Somehow, it’s so much easier to take the opposite route and allow yourself to feel victimized.  In other words, why do you have to spend half your life apologizing for some misdemeanour or other?

Well, the fact is that you know you’ll have to learn how at some time in your life. And the good news is that apologizing can be surprisingly easy. Many people have found that the inability to apologize is simply a bad habit that can be broken.

It isn’t difficult to learn.   Like all bad habits it only needs a little practice to get it right.

Bluffing won’t work!

However, it’s important to remember that bluffing your way through it won’t work.  You have to be sincere about it. That is the most difficult part. Because you have to make sure that your partner gets the message clearly that you really are contrite.

But at all times, bear in mind that you don’t have to grovel or demean yourself in order to apologize.  If you are not in the wrong and you are sure about it, there should be no pretences. Sometimes righteous anger is justified.

You should only feel that you need to apologize when you realize that you are in the wrong.

The best way to learn how to apologize is to put yourself in your partners place.  Try to reverse your roles and see how it makes you feel. And if you can genuinely see where you are at fault you will appreciate how your partner must be feeling.

Once you have mentally switched roles it will make a genuine apology much easier.  Remember that it takes a little practice and that the first time will be the most difficult.

The best way to disarm someone in an argument is to apologize sincerely and then watch what happens.

The effect of an apology can be miraculous.

Anger will seem to dissipate in a puff of smoke. The cloud hanging above your relationship will simply evaporate.  Your partner will be completely disarmed and you will probably end up hugging one another.

All you need to do is try it out.  Make a conscious attempt because apologizing is a real conflict breaker. It’s really not all that complicated or difficult to do once you have made up your mind to try it.

Instead of holding on to an argument and allowing grudges to grow,  just think about how it’s in your hands to get your relationship back on track.  And the best part is that it can work in next to no time.

Don’t let apology phobia ruin a perfectly good relationship. Learning how to apologize can help you  experience the magic of making up.

And your own relationship is no different. Your personality and the personality of your partner are directly responsible for the quality of your relationship.

It’s easy to see how this happens.

If both partners in a relationship have calm temperaments they are likely to have a calm relationship.  Their personalities combined will have shaped their relationship.

On the other hand, if you and your partner are excitable and volatile you will no doubt end up with a rather fiery relationship!  So yes, personality dynamics certainly have an important influence on any relationship.

Personality Differences

Of course couples don’t always have similar personalities and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Some differences in outlook can actually strengthen a relationship.

There are many successful relationships where couples are tolerant of one another’s idiosyncrasies and foibles. In fact they find that the differences in their personalities spice up their relationships. Every healthy relationship needs some variety.

However the scenario is somewhat different for a relationship that is taking strain.

A Relationship in Trouble

When a relationship is in trouble, we tend to concentrate on the things that are holding us apart.  We tend to become more critical. Every little difference is magnified and we become disapproving of our partners if they don’t hold the same opinions as we do.

Little things start to irritate us because we don’t agree about the big things. And because we hold conflicting views about the important things we begin to pull in opposite directions.

If your relationship is going through a difficult patch it would be advisable to take careful note of the differences in your personalities.  Because your personality differences probably hold the key to your relationship problems.

Unfortunately, it’s extremely difficult to get an objective view of all this if you are in the middle of an emotional crisis.

Getting an Objective View

I always find it helpful to look at the handwritings of a couple if I want to get a better understanding of the differences and similarities in their personalities.

You can get a lot of information by comparing two handwritings.

If you haven’t had any contact with handwriting analysis before, you may find this difficult to believe. I can only say that I have worked a great deal with handwriting analysis and I have found it to be very effective.

If you would like to follow up on this you’ll find a lot of information about comparing handwritings for relationship compatibility at Graphic Insight.

A relationship that has gone wrong can throw your whole life out of balance and your whole world out of focus. You will probably feel that everything is going wrong at the same time.

When our feelings are hurt we feel vulnerable. We lose our objectivity and our powers of judgement all at the same time.

We can hardly expect to fathom the deep down causes of our problems when our emotions are in turmoil. Only bionic vision could help us to see inside our conflict-filled relationships.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could observe our relationships impartially and get a true picture of what really was going on inside?

Impossible? Not entirely.

You see, there is a way to look into the inner workings of your relationship where you can see it clearly and impartially. (To be continued)!