Never belittle yourself

Never run yourself down or belittle yourself – some people will take you seriously.

If you belittle yourself there is always a possibility that someone will believe you.

Some people feel the need to downplay their achievements in order to appear modest.

But running yourself down and belittling yourself isn’t modesty. And it’s not humility either.

It’s simply a short cut – a direct route to low self-esteem.

If you run yourself down, not only will people start to believe your rant but you will begin to believe it too. And that is the most harmful part of all because the truth is that your continual self-abasement will act as a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You will stop reaching for your goals. You will start to expect less and less of yourself and you will become more and more ineffective.

If you run yourself down to others or even to yourself you will be actively creating a path to your own self-defeat.  And you will be handing yourself an inferiority complex on a platter.

Can you imagine what this can do to your relationship?

If you continually belittle yourself in your relationship, your significant other can hardly be blamed for eventually accepting the rather unflattering opinion of yourself that you are pushing.

You can’t expect your partner to keep on building you up when you are continually pulling yourself down.

So when you are given a compliment, accept it graciously and believe that you deserve it.

Unfortunately, if you have been running yourself down for some time now it has probably become something of a habit.  A habit that has already found a comfortable niche in your personality.

But take heart.  In my next post I will be giving you a few easy tips to help you  boost your confidence.  Even if you only try out one or two of them I’m sure you’ll find it makes a difference!

It’s important to realize that your personality is the key to your relationships and if you constantly afflict your personality with disempowering beliefs, your relationships will bear the brunt of all the abuse you heap upon yourself.

Photo: John Suder. Flickr

Low self esteem makes you self-destruct every time so that you act as if you are not worthy to be loved. You even feel that you are not good enough to be in a fulfilling relationship.

You have probably repeated this to yourself over and over again to the extent that you are now convinced and have it firmly set in your mind that you are simply not good enough.

You should never ever run yourself down – not even to yourself.  It isn’t humility or modesty.  So don’t mistake it for these.  Not only will people believe your unflattering comments about yourself but you will start to believe them yourself.  And you  do realize don’t you that this will act as a self-fulfilling prophecy?

It really doesn’t have to be like this.  You have it in your own hands to change.

People with low self esteem are not weak people.

They can rise to the occasion when the situation demands. But there is one big secret that they have in common and it is this.  They have to be highly motivated to do the extraordinary.  Strong motivation can make them scale mountains.

Susan Boyle did it and look how it changed her life. She never thought much of herself but she went out there – accepted the great challenge that her mother had so badly wanted her to take – and the rest is history. She walked onto the stage a poor, lonely woman that the audience was prepared to laugh at – and she walked off the stage a celebrity!

Many people have turned their lives around by simply accepting a challenge.

You can do the same. Your greatest challenge is to try to see yourself in a more positive light.

If your relationship is sufficiently important to you, you will realize that you need to change your self-perception. Before you can expect your partner to believe in you, you will have to believe in yourself first.

The fact is that it’s really not all that complicated or difficult to do.

Instead of repeating to yourself over and over how inferior you are, just think about the positive things you have achieved and how you can use your strengths to do it again.

Every time you think a negative thought about yourself, change it around and think of your best personality strengths. Let this become a habit. And slowly you’ll find your attitude changing for the better.

As you banish low self esteem you’ll find that others will take their cue from you and show you more respect too. Best of all, your new positive approach will flow over into your relationship.