Are you too self-critical? Try these 5 Tips

Too self-criticalThere are times when we all need to be self-critical. A certain amount of self-criticism is healthy if we want to lead balanced and productive lives.

But being too self-critical is another matter altogether. It creates a negative environment. And once it is ingrained as a habit it feeds and grows on every one of our negative thoughts and attitudes.

Another big drawback about being too self-critical is that it breeds dissatisfaction. It gives you ” the guilts” and makes you feel as if you are continually falling short of your goals.

Instead of spurring you on to be more successful – which is really your aim – too much self-criticism has the opposite effect. It immobilizes you and keeps you mired in a rut of dissatisfaction.

And it doesn’t stop there. You become a virtual slave to your critical inner voice.

Your critical inner voice

Your critical inner voice is an ever-present negative voice that thrives on telling you that you’re not good enough. If you hear this mean little voice often enough you will accept its negative little mantra and it will soon become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Not only that – your critical inner voice has a habit of taking over.  It thrive on holding you down and keeping you in your place.

Besides, if you keep on running yourself down people will start to take you at face value. They will reckon that there must be some substance to it if you have such a poor opinion of yourself.

Bear in mind that every time you run yourself down you are sending out a message that you don’t have faith in yourself.  The obvious question is:  if you don’t believe in yourself who will?

A continual re-enforcement of negativity can only have one outcome – it will destroy your sense of self-worth and make you lose confidence in yourself.

Loss of self-worth is bad enough but it’s as well to remember that it will also impact negatively on every one of your relationships. The repercussions are enormous.

Bottom line – what can you do about it?

5 Tips to Deal with Self Criticism

  • The first thing to do is to recognize that you have fallen into a trap of negativity. As soon as you see this clearly you are already halfway there. Recognition is an important step.
  • Whenever you hear that mean little voice, turn it around on its head and repeat the exact opposite message to yourself.
  • If your little voice whines “I’m a bad public speaker” repeat three times to yourself; ” of course I can speak in public – even if I have to read it”
  • Try to give yourself an easy alternative.   That little “Even if” is an escape clause that helps to reduce the panic.
  • Remind yourself about something that you did really well – never mind how small – even if you have to go back to your childhood.

Above all remember that any one of your successes can be repeated.  If you did it once you can do it again. So don’t let that mean critical voice get the better of you.

You may also find the following article helpful : Encouragement or Criticism: What works for you?

3 Replies to “Are you too self-critical? Try these 5 Tips”

  1. I appreciate this so much. I’ve been delving into the idea that I have a critical inner voice a lot lately, given some fairly large bumps in my life’s road which have led me to, more than ever, feel like I’m ‘continually falling short’ in relation to my goals and responsibilities. This blog reminded me of another article I read recently
    It offered other useful tools for conquering this monster!
    I highly recommend it.

  2. I often have self doubt. I listen to meditation music on relinquishing the thought or feeling of negativity. I would like to get rid of the thought of negativity period, so that I can move forward.because when I doubt, it goes into beating myself up and I would be at a standstill…I’m open to all suggestions…

  3. Hi Susan
    We all suffer from self-doubt at some stage in our lives. The secret is to concentrate on your talents and recognize what makes you special. And then to act on this. Good luck!

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