Photo: John Suder. Flickr
If you suffer from low self-esteem take note. Your low self esteem is like a red light warning you that you are in danger of damaging your relationship.
It’s important to realize that your personality is the key to your relationships and if you constantly afflict your personality with disempowering beliefs, your relationships will bear the brunt of all the abuse you heap upon yourself.
Low self esteem makes you self-destruct every time so that you act as if you are not worthy to be loved. You even feel that you are not good enough to be in a fulfilling relationship.
You have probably repeated this to yourself over and over again to the extent that you are now convinced and have it firmly set in your mind that you are simply not good enough.
You should never ever run yourself down – not even to yourself. It isn’t humility or modesty. So don’t mistake it for these. Not only will people believe your unflattering comments about yourself but you will start to believe them yourself. And you do realize don’t you that this will act as a self-fulfilling prophecy?
It really doesn’t have to be like this. You have it in your own hands to change.
People with low self-esteem are not weak people.
They can rise to the occasion when the situation demands. But there is one big secret that they have in common and it is this. They have to be highly motivated to do the extraordinary. Strong motivation can make them scale mountains.
Susan Boyle did it and look how it changed her life. She never thought much of herself but she went out there – accepted the great challenge that her mother had so badly wanted her to take – and the rest is history. She walked onto the stage a poor, lonely woman that the audience was prepared to laugh at – and she walked off the stage a celebrity!
Many people have turned their lives around by simply accepting a challenge.
You can do the same. Your greatest challenge is to try to see yourself in a more positive light.
If your relationship is sufficiently important to you, you will realize that you need to change your self-perception. But before you can expect your partner to believe in you, you will have to believe in yourself first. In short, you will have to find the real you.
The fact is that it’s really not all that complicated or difficult to do.
Instead of repeating to yourself over and over how inferior you are, just think about the positive things you have achieved and how you can use your strengths to do it again.
Every time you think a negative thought about yourself, change it around and think of your best personality strengths. Let this become a habit. And slowly you’ll find your attitude changing for the better.
As you banish your low self esteem you’ll find that others will take their cue from you and show you more respect too. Best of all, your new positive approach will flow over into your relationship.
Also read: How to find the real you
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One thing you can do is develop your own code of conduct and set of beliefs that are apart from those who attack or deride you for existing in their sphere. And live by them to the fullest.Another thing you can do is develop yourself outside of your current sphere of existence. This means building yourself up with accomplishments that are wholly and completely your own on your own.
It means developing a skill that is not connected to or part of your family legacy, what ever that is. It means developing a skill or a talent that is something, such as learning to surf, or ride a horse, or sail a boat. Something that is better than you are that you can do by yourself that is all you and no one else’s. Then when those around put you down, you have something inside you that is stronger than they will ever know. And such a feeling will sustain you through the bad times and allow you to earn the respect from those around you, in the end.
Thank you for your input, Iwan. Some very helpful ideas that are certain to help with self-esteem issues.